Tuesday, June 17, 2008

AM Timeline

Yesterday, Little Dog, who had crashed out at an unheard of early bedtime of 6:30pm the night before, decided the he needed some one on one mommy bonding time. Awwww, sweet, right? Well, it would have been, if said bonding didn't happen at 4:00am and the one on one nature of it arise from the fact that I was the only person in the house insane enough to get out of bed when I heard his first soft cries of "Mama! Poppa! Big Dog!"
At first I thought I would use my superior rocking chair skills to get him back to sleep, but he helped me see that was a pipe dream.

Here's how I spent the wee morning hours:
4:00 am Hear soft voice calling "Mama! Poppa! Big Dog!"
4:05 am Cuddle up in rocking chair to soothe Little Dog back to sleep. For some reason his eyes remain wide open despite my best rocker moves.
4:15 am "Need to poop on the potty," says Little Dog, so we take a trip down the hall, potty, change diaper, return to rocking chair with some slight hope we can now doze off.
4:30 am "Need milk, mama," says Little dog, so I prep a sippy cup to soothe him back to sleep, but when I return his now alert reaction puts a damper on my hopes of more sleep.
4:45 am "Hi mama!" says my bright eyed child, obviously nowhere near sleep.
4:50 am Little Dog climbs off my lap and starts heading for the bedroom door.
4:55 am I put Little Dog in his bed, tell him it is time to sleep and that Mama is tired and going back to bed.
5:00 am Mommy goes back to bed and hopes for the best.
5:05 am Tiny hands at grab mommy from the side of her bed like a scene from some third rate monster movie. I ignore them in hopes he'll go back to bed.
5:10 am The sounds of tiny feet leaving my bedroom make me think I have won the battle! Woo hoo!
5:11 am Little Dog returns with his beloved orange Crocs. "Mama, need my cwocks!"
5:15 am Resign myself to the fact that there will be no more sleeping for either of us. We head off to the living room where I hope to distract him with Backyardigans while I get as close to sleep as possible while still awake.
5:20 am Little Dog finds his beloved fireman hat and declares he is a firefighter. Soon after decides he is not a firefighter, he is in fact a panda.
5:35 am Little Dog strips off his clothes for some early morning "naked time" I debate the merits of struggling to get him to put on a diaper and opt for the path of least resistance. Let him be naked, just remind him not to pee on the floor.
5:55 am Manage to get him dressed again as the prospect of floor peeing looms.
6:00 am Little Dog begins throwing toys, attempting to taunt me into giving him a time out, or at very least wake up a bit. When I look over I notice his hair is now sticking up in two places like small horns. Coincidence? I think not.
6:05 am His throwing finally results in a time out, as well as a scratch in my beloved art deco cabinet.
6:10 am Out of his time out, Little Dog resumes his "charmer" status. He decides to dance along with the Backyardigans. His dance involves significantly more booty shaking than the dance he is following. That's my boy!
6:20 am Little Dog strips off his clothes again and runs away as I try to chase him down with the diaper.
6:25 am Find Little Dog has worked his way up on the big potty and is continuing his self-potty training. What a great kid, even if he prefers me to be seriously sleep deprived.
6:30 am Finished with the potty, Little Dog continues to refuse clothing. I decide, mostly out of exhaustion, that I'm ok with his nudist leanings.
6:35 am Little Dog is crawling around, still naked, now barking. I'm still ok with it.
6:45 am Toys come out of the toy box. Some kind of town is created. Town police arrest a large soft bunny after run in with race car.
6:50 am Bunny escapes police custody with help from a large red rooster.
7:00 am Little Dog demands Crocs be located and puts them back on.
7:05 am Naked apart from his Crocs, Little Dog demands we go outside.
7:10 am We negotiate an agreement. We can go outside if Little Dog agrees to put some clothes on.
7:15 am Sitting outside on the porch while my contented child plays with slide and sandbox, I am happier than ever that we have finished the play area for the kids. It is fenced, free of dog poop and easily supervised from a comfortable sitting position.
7:30 am I call into my first meeting of the day. In the background Little Dog repeatedly screams "SWIPER NO SWIPING!" I wonder what the engineers in India think about the ruckus.
8:00 am I wake up the remaining sleeping members of our family. They've had enough rest, and I need reinforcements!


Carrie said...

Oh, that's too funny (for me, since I didn't have to live it). Sounds like you've got your hands full!

chihuahua5 said...

oh honey...i am sorry...i'm laughing with you and not at you :)

Kaza said...

I can see it all, and feel the tired. Oh, how I feel the tired! I had a morning like that not too long ago, and worried it would become a habit, but fortunately it didn't.

mollyfn said...

And this is why I am thankful that my 2yo has yet to figure out that she can climb out of the crib!

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