Friday, August 8, 2008

My brain hurts.

Something is going on in my brain. And not in a good way. Maybe I broke it. That happens right? No, ok, maybe it's just a really bad sprain. At any rate, read on. You'll understand why I ask.

I was looking online at my bank statement, because that is the kind of daredevil thrill seeker I have become, when I noticed a check for $4. Hmmm, must investigate the enormous expense. Why would I have written such a huge check? (sarcasm in action, cool eh?)

So my bank lets me click on the item and it opens a scanned image of the check. I glance at the check and read MOFO. Now why would I have written a check to a mother fucker. What would I possibly be paying them for, apart from the um, uh...action described in the title, and this mother doesn’t pay for that. For a moment I am at a loss. Then I look at the payee again, not MOFO, it’s MFO, one of the vendors at the Farmer’s Market. And why didn’t I even stop to think “Hey, maybe you read that wrong!” Nope, I seriously wondered when and where I'd paid a MOFO.

Just a half hour later, while getting a cup of coffee in the break room, I saw this:
Great, why wouldn’t they love sports. Even be "crazy" for them. That makes sense, what with the Olympics and all. And it would make sense if I had actually read the title.

But I thought it said “China's Crazy for SPORKS!” and I paused to wonder why all the hubbub over the spoon-fork hybrid. Why are people congregating to snap photos in masses large enough to require chains of raglan-sleeve-shirted young men to hold them back from the plastic cutlery?
Yeah. They aren't. And really, that should have been obvious, right? I mean, look at the photo! Do you see any evidence of sporks?

So I have learned three very important things from this.

1. If something doesn't sound quite right, I should read it again.
2. I am gaining the reputation of "crazy lady who laughs to herself in the break room"
3. I need a nap.

11 comments:

Mrs. F said...

OMG I love you. You just make me laugh and laugh and laugh. We could totally be friends in real life.

mammadawg.com said...

LOL - I've done the same thing. Oh - too many times. TGIF!

anniegirl1138 said...

Oh my that's funny and I do the same thing all the time. I was beginning to worry, but find I am in good company.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting too.

Саричка said...

If it makes you feel any better, I was driving past the Seattle Center the other day and saw a sign that said "BrasilFest" and I actually said, out load to the husband, "Breastfest?! Wow. I wonder if it has anything to do with breast cancer awareness or if it is some other crazy Seattle event like the Solstice parade..." and went on for about 3 minutes and even wondered, possibly aloud, if breast cancer awareness week was in October before he interrupted my little diatribe to correct me.

Christy said...

Ha! You crack me up!

Elle said...

I love the MOFO check. Only $4. What a bargain! Then again, maybe not. :) You had me laughing out loud this morning. Thanks!

mrsbear0309 said...

LOL. I don't know about you, but I am a huge fan of sporks, by far the most useful of all plastic cutlery. MOFO's...not so much.

Kaza said...

I love you because: I would SO have read those things that way, and I used to be the crazy lady who laughed in the breakroom (when I worked in offices with an actual breakroom, and come to think of it, the last time might have been when I lived where you are, that glorious city I miss so much... but I digress...), AND, because the spork thing made me laugh out loud for the first time today (I've been in grading hell). And it's so logical, b/c you would EXPECT to read that they were crazy for sporks, but not sports. Srsly.

I know I haven't posted or passed on my kiss ass award yet, but I WILL, I'm just drowning in finishing this teaching contract. I need to give it proper attention! I miss you, we've been missing each other on Twitter.

Like how I'm using your comments for things I really should tweet or email about? I'm improper like that.

geekymummy said...

Ha! Its an easy mistake to make, the sporks thing. You can imagine they would be pretty revolutionary in China, so much more versatile than chopsticks.
I need a nap too. But instead I will drink vast quantities off coffee, thats kind of the same, right?!

Z said...

I've done the same thing way too many times. And somehow, it's never when I've been drinking... at least then I'd have something to blame!

52 Faces said...

ugh...I just took a nap and now I'm hungover...you know the feeling.

In any case - yes! I have the same one-second-dyslexia as you! For me it also occurs in parsing issues and context misplacements (see my Chinatown Rezin or Relationships are Hard posts).

I believe this plagues the literarily talented in particular as my fellow Harvard grad (now a PhD there) recounts that I once sent him an email with the subject "freedomads" and instead of Freedom Ads, he queried, "Who is Domads? Is this like the Free Mumia campaign?"

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