Bats have ginormous testicles. Seriously. Waaaay to big for their tiny bat bodies. I know this because the bat exhibit at the Oregon Zoo rocks. You can be standing less than a foot away from a real live bat, hanging from one foot separated only by a piece of glass. And if you're like me, it is at that very moment that you'll look at the bat and think, "Aw, is that bat pregnant?" just a microsecond before it dawns on you that this is a male bat. The itty bitty batty weenie is just above the uncomfortably large "bumps" and wow.
From that moment forward while the kids are giggling and pointing excitedly at the bats eating large chunks of melon or broccoli suspended for their upside down enjoyment, you will only be able to think, "Why are the testicles so huge? And why is the penis so tiny?" then you will be unable to take your eyes off the disturbingly large bat nuts. Kind of like viewing the aftermath of a traffic accident, can't tear your attention away. At least I couldn't.
Probably after noticing my stare, the nearest bat decided to luridly jiggle his bat testicles at me with his wing/claw/hand. It's like bat porn or something. He also licked his lips salaciously. I'm not sure if that was sexual or if it was a matter of hygiene since he'd recently been devouring the chunks of melon I mentioned earlier. I tried not to let the lip smacking get to me.
I will probably have nightmares about bats tonight. I'm just sayin'.
In other news, I also learned that bats will go from hanging by their feet to hanging from their claws/hands/wings when they crap. If you think about it, it makes sense. If you pooped upside down, gravity would work against you, and I'm pretty sure even bats don't enjoy that kind of thing.
And I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, it is never to late to learn new things. Or maybe I'm saying the Oregon Zoo is very educational. Or maybe I'm really saying, holy crap bats have giant balls. Or maybe I have no point and I'm just trying to cope with the trauma. Take your pick.
Pasta ala Fridge
12 years ago
4 comments:
I'm going to go google bat balls. This I gotta see!
And I never knew that they right-sided up to poop. Smart!
i have just learned something new. fyi...check out the sea otters at seattle aquarium; they too have very large "members" for their size.
testicle size is often related evolutionarily to promiscuity among females. If the lady bats are putting it about, then the males needs lots and lots of sperm to compete.
So basically, those bats are sluts.
What kind of a zoo was this, anyway?!
wow! i learned something new today! i should come back and visit more often ...
although i'm not quite sure with whom this knowledge will come in handy ...
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