Friday, May 8, 2009

Kicking and screaming

So I was watching America's Next Top Model (shut up) on Wednesday night. They're getting down to it, the final four. One of the top contenders was a 25 year old model from NY. 25. In model years that's like 87 or something. Or at least that's what the judges and other contestants kept saying. Fuck me. I'm sitting here in my 37 year old body thinking, holy crap, that's not old. I mean kick her off because she looks like a man (because she did) or because she's freakin' annoying (because she's that too) but because she looks old? Um, that's just insulting. To me. Because I'm really old. (Thankfully I'm not trying to be America's Next Top Model. Phew.)

Seriously. I'm starting to feel old now. It's a terrible feeling. I keep creeping closer to 40. Fine, it's not like I'm geriatric. Yet. But I do feel like I'm aging a lot lately and it is really hitting me hard. For the longest time I was always the youngest. The youngest at work, the youngest in my social circle, the youngest whatever. Doesn't matter, but it made me feel like I was ahead of the game, now I'm not the youngest. Not by a long shot and I feel like I should be more pulled together, more grown up and more...I don't know, something.

I've noticed more and more articles about things that make you look old and they all say things like "Once you're in your mid 30s..." implying that this is when you start to turn into a shriveled mess. I hate it. I didn't ever read those before. Never. Now I do. Pretty much every time I see one I read it trying to glean some tiny shred of knowledge on this topic. And there are all kinds of clothes I can't really wear now that I'm matronly. No more mini skirts (not that my legs are in any shape for it) and I should probably at some point start wearing clothes I don't pick up while I'm shopping at Target (gasp! I know, I never thought I'd say that.) I feel old and run down, no longer stylish and hip. I'm not ever going to be young and sassy again. Instead I am counting down the time I have to convinced Mr. Dog that a third baby would be good at some point, and that point is rapidly moving closer in. Now I'm just that snarky old lady with the crappy attitude. This sucks.


mirabelle said...

Ok. I have to comment on this because I was just saying the same thing to my husband (yes, I watch ANTM AND I have gotten him to watch it too or rather he is too burnt out to move when I turn it on)!

I loved/hated when Paulina said basically "you are 25 and like ancient in modeling years" and every morning since I have done a double (triple, perhaps) glance in the mirror to see if I really look more than ancient since I have 10 years on the "old one".

followthatdog said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who took this to heart. At the same time, Paulina is 44 and still a total knockout, so we can take some comfort in that. But all the comments about looking old in photos really bug me. Isn't that what photoshop is for? And can't someone photoshop my actual face? Jeez.

geekymummy said...

I hear you. What gets me down is how old and creaky and achy I feel. I understand how people get addicted to painkillers. But Rosa cheers me up, she gets twenty and theirty mixed up, so it makes me happy when ever she tells me "Mummy you are 28!"

Beth said...

I'm 41 now and I have noticed that many of the songs that were popular when I was in high school are now being played on the classics channel. What the heck!? Since when did 80s music become classics?

I'm sure you look fabulous! Age really is just a number. And most models still have to be touched up in photographs.

Stephanie said...

As a much older and crankier mama, I must say that you look fabulous from here.

And even though I know it's a cliché, I also have to say that our wrinkles and grey hairs are our medals of honor. Wear them with pride. And fuck that shit about dressing your age: my grammy wore leopard print decolletage dresses, costume jewelry, and bright red lipstick until the day she died—at 98. I canNOT WAIT to be an eccentric old lady, and I look forward to still hanging with you.

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