I need to have a word with you. Since bringing you home in April, I have been very attentive to your needs. You've had top quality food and lots of fresh water. You've been given lots of fresh organic fruit and vegetable scraps. The boys delight in bringing you grass, blackberries and occasionally worms from the yard. After you outgrew your brooder, Mr. Dog built you a palatial chicken estate, and I've worked hard to keep it clean and equipped with everything an urban chicken might need.
All I ask in return is that you follow your biological impulse to lay eggs. And I have to say, I am a bit disappointed that I am still waiting for the first one. I can do nothing but wonder why. Have we failed to satisfy your needs in some way? Are you just holding out to toy with me? Perhaps you've noticed my obsessive checking of the nest box. Or maybe you enjoy the way even a minor squawk gets me to peer out the window to see if one of you is preparing to provide. Maybe you are simply working to build suspense. Whatever the reason, I suggest you start laying soon. All I know is that I have been spending too much time on egg watch. I am on pins and needles wondering if this is the moment you'll lay that first egg. Or now. Or maybe now. I check the nest box first thing in the morning. When I return home from work I rush to check the nest box again. I check obsessively with little provocation right up until bedtime.
I am not a patient woman. Never have been. I do not like waiting for surprises. In fact, I am the kind of person who shakes her Christmas presents rather than just sit around and wait to find out what's inside. You might want to think about that last bit of information.
I look forward to getting my first egg very soon.