Thursday, October 29, 2009

Strange Days Indeed

I do not much care for days like today. Days where the skies are grey and the greyness seems to seep into the lives beneath it. Days when I look at my "baby" and realize he no longer a baby, nor a toddler. Days when I realize their rapid pace growth is not likely to slow down. Days when I realize that soon I will not have little boys at all, soon they will be big. Days when I admit there will be no third baby because as nice as Mr. Dog tries to be about it, he really is done. Days when I realize I am a middle aged woman, not the young person my mind thinks I am. Days when I feel like a middle aged woman. Days when I look at the world around me and think that more people are cruel and crappy than I'd admitted before. Days when I feel powerless to fix that. Days when I worry that no matter what I do, things will still be screwed up. Days when I realize I probably don't do as much as I can. Days when I realize that progress is slow and as soon as we become complacent we quietly backslide and lose our newly gained ground.
Yep, days like this kind of suck.

3 comments:

Green said...

Oh dude. I have felt like an old woman trying to pass herself off as a middle-aged woman since I was 17 years old. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

Erin said...

It will get better. I hope tomorrow is better. Although I have a feeling that the young woman trapped in a middle aged woman's body doesn't end.

geekymummy said...

Ugh, sucky days, I hate them too.

Your boys will grow of course but guess what, they will still be your fabulous boys, I'm guessing they will be pretty cool at every age. (my co-worker was waxing lyrical about her 10 year old son today, what a fun age it is - he's grown up in some ways, but still likes to snuggle in bed!)

And if you are a middle aged woman I'm a crone, so you can stop that right now, gorgeous.

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