Germs are everywhere, and if you listen to my children, they are all out to get us. Since starting preschool Little Dog is constantly distressed by the germs he's encountering. Mr. Dog took a taste off his spoon, Little Dog demanded a replacement for the contaminated utensil. How could Mr. Dog expect him to use that spoon??? It was covered in germs! Similarly Big Dog has become a strict rule follower. He turned his friend in to the teacher because the friend gave another friend a kiss! When I asked why that was a problem, he shook his head and reminded me, with the patience of a kindergarten saint, "Because it spreads germs!"
And now this mutual fear of germs has given them a new weapon in their ongoing war. Tonight, while in the bath Little Dog shrieks, "No! Stop it Big Dog!" then tears follow.
Mr. Dog went in to investigate, "What happened?"
"He put germs on me!" sobs my little man.
"It's ok, you're in the bath, that's what the soap is for. You're fine," Mr. Dog assures him.
Big Dog apologises, then Big Dog melts down. Why? Because he has done something so bad, so terrible, so utterly unspeakable he can't even bring himself to express it. He's crying and speaking in that voice so contorted and shrill that only dog can really hear, and I'm pretty sure even they couldn't understand him. So I try to get him calmed down. And I almost succeed. He's about to tell me what happened, what has upset him so and he backpedals. "I can't tell you!" he sobs.
"Sure you can. You're obviously pretty upset by it, maybe telling me will make you feel better," I offer.
"And you won't get mad?" he asks.
"No, I won't."
"And I won't get a time out?"
"No, you won't"
"And you won't say 'Bad boy'?"
"No, I promise."
"I can't." and the waterworks start again. He's now in full tantrum mode in my bedroom, flopping on my bed howling. I have to admit, this reaction was freaking me out a little. How bad could it really be? My imagination started to run away, it was not good.
"Honey, you have to calm down. I know you're upset, but I'm not sure I understand why. No one is mad at you. Can you tell me what happened?"
"Little Dog is!"
So I asked Little Dog if he was mad and no, he's not. "But I don't like being spitted on."
"Neither do I, but we can ask him not to do that. Is that what happened? Did he spit on you?"
Big Dog becomes quiet in the bedroom listening to see if he was sunk. I could tell he was hanging on Little Dog's words, worried he'd get in trouble.
"He did this," and he showed me the shocking thing his brother had done. The terrible terrible thing that Big Dog could not bring himself to voice. And what was this scandalous misdeed?
Turns out, he'd licked his hand and put it on his brother. Did you, like me, just breathe a big sigh of relief? Don't think it sounds too bad? Really? Just think of the germs!
Pasta ala Fridge
5 years ago