Out of the mouth of Dogs

So I'm going to be lazy and just post some of the recent things said by my wise sons. I'm not going to roll into this with a nice set up for their punch lines, nor will I try to sum up at the end with some witty parting shot. Nope, it's Mother's Day and this mother has spent the last 5 hours in the car making the 3 1/2 hour drive from Portland to Seattle. Who the hell has ever heard of "mother's day traffic"? No one. Unfortunately that didn't keep about a million crappy drivers out of my way on the road, or keep my iPhone from refusing to play anything in my iTunes library, or keep the kids from being exuberant in the back seat (and yes, that's just a nice way of saying hyperactive).

As heard from the Dog brothers:

After watching several pretty bad performances at an open to the general public belly dance show waiting for his Auntie K to rock the house. For some reason many of these performers and troupes decided not to do anything that would be recognized as belly dance. I mean, how often do belly dancers wear sombreros? And no, I"m not kidding:
Little Dog proclaims with disgust in his voice, "This isn't belly dancing! Belly dancing means you shake your belly!"

Deep in play with his toys when Little Dog tells us he needs someone to go downstairs to go potty with him (the upstairs plumbing is temporarily disconnected- that's the kind of thing we're used to in our house). Mr. Dog tells Big Dog to go with his younger brother. Always the negotiator, Big Dog asks, "What do I get if I do?"
"Two hugs and two kisses," Mr. Dog responds, knowing that Big Dog is really fishing for something more tangible than parental adoration.
"Not workin' for me," Big Dog announces, and returns to playing with his toys.

In the car waiting to pick Big Dog up from school:
"Lots of people have seen aliens," said with absolute authority.
"Really?" I asked.
"That's why we don't go out much after dark," he adds, as though that makes it all more plausible.