Up goes the business travel, down comes the household management. Up goes the focus on my kids education, down goes the focus on myself. Up goes the figuring out my new job, down goes the attention to my marriage. Up goes the progress on the house project, down goes the social life. Up goes the mommy guilt, down goes my patience level. Up goes the need to stay on top of things, down goes the cooking and house keeping. Up goes the just holding shit together, down goes my ability to keep all things under control. Up goes the number of sick children, down goes the recharging time on the weekend. Up goes the anxiety, down goes the letting things roll off my back.
Sometimes I'm better at this act than others. Sometimes it is simple and almost fluid. Sometimes it's even fun. Right now, not so much. I'm not sure if I'm not over my jet lag or if I'm just generally exhausted. I see the light at the end of the tunnel though. But to quote Cracker "someone please tell me that it's not a train." If I can just make it through this trip to Beijing, if I can even manage to enjoy it, after that I can start putting things back in order. I can once again start to focus on making some routines that will help smooth things down. And maybe, just maybe I'll be able to find some time to take off from work and get all of this craziness in my house sorted and reduced.
Wish me luck.
Pasta ala Fridge
5 years ago