Thursday, September 6, 2007

Too sensitive for the "net"

I tend to think of myself as a nice person. A person who gives good advice, who listens and sympathizes with others, who put herself out there for those in need. I even think I'm kind of funny. Ok, I know I'm hilarious, but that sounds so immodest. In general, I'm a likable person, so imagine my surprise when, for no good reason, every post of mine in the so-called NiceFo on craigslist starts getting a little -1 next to it. Well, maybe not no good reason. I mean, I did participate in a "secret forum" that sometimes talked a little trash, but really, how terrible is that.

For days I ignored the negs, but earlier this week, for unknown reasons (let's just chalk it up to stress) those negs started to get to me. I mean, I assume they are a result of the secret forum, but no one fesses up and tells me why, instead they stalk me with their little passive aggressive -1s. I finally snapped and decided to take a little break from 4231. Probably best for my sanity, but still, I feel a little like a quitter walking away like that.

Yesterday was my first 4231-free day. It was uneventful but dreadfully boring. I lingered in 39, offering snarky remarks in my grey state. I checked out the PetFo, but mostly just the photos. I even tried my other hang out but none of the bitches were posting, so I just lurked and read and fought the urge to post.

Today was easier. I was busy in meetings, but still, the lack of my buddies in the computer brought me down a bit. I did make a quick stop in the "secret forum" to review my posts to see how bitchy I was and only found one place where I made glib comments about someone that read a lot more vicious than I intended. I meant it lightly, and it read as though I really had ill will toward this person. But I had already contacted her right afterwards and told her what I meant when I posted, and she was ok with it. So who have I offended so greatly that they must cover my every post with red?

Today, at Target (my most relaxing place in the world) I thought about it and really, Fuck the negging bastard. She isn't woman enough to come out and say "Hey, you piss me off" or whatever, so why the hell should I care if they hate me. Really, if I said something that annoyed them enough to spend their spare time seeking out and negging my every post, that is something I can, in one perverse way or another, kind of be proud of, right? I mean, I'm not so dull that I go unnoticed! And really, if their life is so lonely and sad that negging me gives them a purpose and a sense of power, I owe it to them to continue to post. It is service or something. I have always felt sorry for the mentally ill, and I now understand that it is my responsibility to do my part to let them feel useful. I'm thinking I'm going to hold out until Monday and then head back.

I feel better if I can just hold out until Monday...

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