Monday, July 28, 2008

Heartbreak


I think I've written this post before, but as time goes on,and I expect it to get easier, I am constantly suprised by how easily I am still moved to tears. In November 2007, I had to say goodbye to my buddy, my dog Mao. He was a sweet if not slighly skittish shar pei who joined my family right after Mr. Dog and I moved in together.

The first night we had him, he was barely ankle high, his soft puppy fur felt like the silkiest chenille, I instantly fell in love. His whole tiny body was covered in wrinkles and could easily fit on my lap yet, when he fell asleep, he'd snore like an old man. Really,snorts and sighs loud enough to wake me from a good night sleep, and Mr. Dog can attest to the fact I do not wake easily.

He grew into a regal looking dog, 65lbs of wrinkled beauty. I've never seen a more handsome shar pei,and don't expect I ever will. Even more, he had a loving temperment, quite gentle and goofy, not a tough guy in the least. Our first vet, who had other shar pei patients constantly comment on his friendly nature. Our teachers in obedience classes were amazed how different he was from othe shar pei who had been in and out of classes, he thrived on praise and love, he loved attention.

Every day when I came home from work, Mao would greet me at the door with a goofy jumpy dance, toy in mouth, his magestic body twisting and squirming with the sheer joy that I actually returned. Like I did every day. And yet, every day he greeted me as though I had been lost forever and now, through some turn of events had found my way home. His pure display of love was a surefire antidote to any bad day.

He wasn't a snuggly guy, he didn't want to be held, he didn't want to be on your lap, just nearby. And if you left the room, he'd follow and find a new place to nap wherever you went.
Mao was there when Mr. Dog proposed, he was at the wedding to greet us after we had exchanged vows, and when we brought home Big Dog, he greeted me at the door with his frantic zaney dance of joy. And when we brought Little Dog home a few years later, I could almost see him say "here we go again".

He was never crazy about the boys, they were a bit unpredictable for his liking. He tended to steer clear, expecially once they started walking. I think their odd movement and loud persistant noises were mostly to blame. It wasn't that he didn't like them, more like he didn't know what the hell to make of them. When the boys were tiny and used to squeal their infant demands, Mao would run between them and me, yipping at me to "hurry the hell up and quiet that thing down!" And when I'd sit down to nurse, he'd curl up at my feet.
In November, after watching his slow decline from kidney failure, we said goodbye. And my heart broke. Today, eight and a half months later, I cry when I think of him. I miss him with all my heart. My very broken heart.

15 comments:

d_evans said...

Oh my gosh, my heart breaks for you. What a beautiful doggie. I'm so sorry :o(

chihuahua5 said...

i miss mao too and you know he approves of the new addition to the family....goofy and loveable just like mao.

Rachael said...

What a sweet post about an adorable doggie!

mamikaze said...

He was a lovely boy. Just meeting him one time I could see why he was so special. ((hugs))

Robin said...

What a sweet dog, I'm sure he knew exactly how much he meant to you.

JenniBeanV said...

{{{{hugs}}}} He was a beautiful dog!

Honey Mommy said...

What a gorgeous dog.

I grew up with dogs as pets and they are wonderful. I just wish they lived as long as we do!

Great post.

mrsbear0309 said...

I followed the mystery blogger link on Mom Blogger's Club. I'm so sorry about your dog. He was beautiful. Your post was a nice way to remember him. It's amazing the impact a pet can make on our lives.

Living In a Girl's World said...

I still miss my inherited Rottie that we had to have put down almost 6 years ago. Although she actually was thrilled when we brought home the kids. Sweet tempered, always protective. There is nothing like the love of a dog.

Mekhismom said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. In his pictures he looks so sweet.

I am visiting you from MBC - you are the mystery mom today. But I also know you from a visit earlier today to AllMedicore.

Ashley said...

Awwww, I LOVE the picture of the cute little baby with the dog! He looks so sweet! I hate losing a beloved pet. There are pets I've had that I will miss forever and ever too!

Maura said...

It's so sad to have to say goodbye to a pet that wraps itself around your heart like that. He was a beauty and you made his life a happy (if noisy, once the boys came along!) one.

princessofsomething said...

That is so sad. ((hugs)) to you.

Mrs. Tantrum said...

I know the heartbreak you feel. I am so sorry. We had our springer put down 10 years ago and to this day when I see one that looks like her I melt into a pile of hysterical tears. Mao is that same kind of dog...you will be a big mess of goo over him for years to come!
*wet dog kisses from the pugs to you*

e. said...

ugh. having a bad day dealing with kidneys over here. me mostly.. not him. i'm sure he's wondering why i cry so damn much. our doggies are so great (i met mao). :) great post.

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