Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Did you hear the one about the housekeeper that fired the home owner?

Uh no, that's not the set up for a joke. This is my life. Yes, our housekeepers decided our house was too "disorganized" to clean. What does this say about the interior of my home when a professional housekeeper thinks my home is beyond help? All I know is that it's not good.

So after recovering from the shock of rejection, I headed over the craigslist and started recruiting new professional tidiers. I decided to lay it out on the table when I sent my email. Here's what they got.
I am interested in getting a quote for biweekly housekeeping at my home in Seattle. We have a three bedroom 1700 sq ft house. (kitchen, two bathrooms, living room, playroom, dining room).

We have two large dogs and two small children, so there is mess and clutter. Unfortunately, I can't keep up on my own. This is why we need a housekeeper.

Please let me know what I need to do to get a quote.
Thank you,
I got responses, set up interviews and hoped for the best. As I walked them through the house I explained in explicit terms that this was the best shape they were likely to see this house in, if you don't count the 5 minutes of clean that comes right after the housekeepers visit. I told them I was not the kind of person who tidied up before the housekeeper came, so they needed to expect there would be toys on the floor and dishes on the counter. I stressed that I was looking for help because I am a crappy crappy housekeeper and if it was left to me we'd drown in our own clutter.

Guess what? They didn't think my house was a total shit-heap! Maybe I overstressed the slovenly state of my home because they did kind of look at me like I was nuts as I rambled on and on about toys, kids, dogs, etc. One woman even went into detail about her worst home to prove to me that my house was not even near the foulest slum she has to clean (4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, occupied by 3 bachelors. Need I say more?) I was relieved, I had been half expecting them to run, screaming from my home in search of Clorox wipes.

So we got the quotes, all lower than what we had been paying our previous housekeepers might I add, and finally settled on one woman to do the job. We're opting for weekly instead of bi-weekly cleaning, maybe that will help. She starts next week. I'm taking bets on how long she goes before she fires us. Or at very least demands a raise. Anyone know how to make odds?


Mel said...

No idea how to make odds, but congrats on getting yourself a weekly helper!

Jessica R. said...

We once had a housekeeping service come and do an initial "test" clean, three days after our regular cleaners had come.
They called to say that our house was too dirty and too messy and too cluttered and there was no way they could take the job. Hilarious.

Kirsten said...

If I ever try to hire a housekeeper, can I use your verbage. My house is in a continual state of clutter/disaster. I owe it the fact that 4/5 of us are here MOST of the time. Hopefully your new one will stick around!

Anonymous said...

I am jealous jealous jealous. I don't even have a housekeeper to be fired by! Hopefully my business will pick up and then I can indulge myself!

Mrs. F said...

I can't stop giggling. You got fired. Amazing.

I cleaned houses for a short while and one of the houses was for people who collected roadside junk. And their home was being renovated. That was HARD to keep up with, but I never fired them...I am a girl who likes a challenge, I suppose.

Unknown said...

I am sure that it is going to be fine. Last I checked housekeepers were paid to keep house -which means cleaning. Anyhow - congrats on finding someone new at a lower rate.

geekymummy said...

I hope this one is made of sterner stuff! Ours tolerate our clutter, but still manage to put the recycling in the garbage and vice versa so I have resorted to taking down all the trash before they come to avoid having to sort through it later. Maybe I need a new housekeeper too!

Anonymous said...

That's too funny. I am glad you found someone that is a good match!

I wish we had housecleaning help. Right now I content myself with what we can do and hope that our house doesn't fall apart before the kids hit double digits in age.

chihuahua5 said...

told ya you weren't uuber messy. glad to hear they start next week and keep me posted how it goes!

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