Why I suck at working from home

With both of the boys sick, I have had to work from home. For the most part it was ok. I can do most of my work from a laptop with an internet connection and a phone. Much of what I do each day is participate in meetings. Today was no exception. Like a bad mother working from home with sick children, I rely heavily on TV and DVDs to entertain the patients while I work. It keeps them mostly quiet and I can get stuff done while they relax on their beds we've made on the sofa. I mute the phone except when I talk to keep the background noise and parenting comments from interrupting the meeting. It more or less works.

So today, with both boys home, I was a bit smug about just how productive I was able to be. I got my tasks done, attended meetings and made calls. Sure I was also running to the kitchen for water and juice, keeping the DVDs going, administering medications, but it was more or less working, no matter how exhausted I was feeling. One of my last meetings of the day was a long planning meeting. It took an eternity, or at least hours. During this meeting Big Dog was taking a nap, and Little Dog, my exhibitionist, was roaming the room playing with toys pantless. Fine, he was happy and quiet. No big deal. Near the end of the meeting I got a call from Mr. Dog on the other line. I switched over, chatted briefly then switched back to the meeting. When I looked up I noticed that Little Dog had a tent pole with the elasticized shock cord wrapped around his toe. He looked uncomfortable, but was working on getting the restraint off his own toe. I just watched. A moment later he'd freed his foot and was looking at another part of his anatomy. When he made a move toward that appendage, I had to speak up.

"Don't do that, Little Dog," I said firmly but in a calm voice.

"Why?" he challenged.

"Because you might hurt yourself."

"But I just tied up my toe!"

"Yeah, but don't do that to your penis," I advised. Then I noticed my phone wasn't on mute.

A second later and instant message from another manager popped up on my laptop. It simply read, "We can hear you."

And that about sums up my day.