Monday, August 11, 2008

Psychopath in training.

After having my own children, I had a major A-ha moment. No, no the Norwegian pop band from the 80s, (thought "Take on Me" can still get my toe tapping) it was one of those, "wow, who knew?" moments. Turns out I really like kids. Not just my kids, but their friends too. And they like me right back. I have a good rapport with most of them, maybe because I am just an overgrown child myself, but whatever the reason, it has been great.

So since Big Dog was born, I’ve gone along liking pretty much all kids. Until this weekend that is. Over the weekend went to a birthday party for one of Big Dog’s classmates. There were a huge number of kids there, and as usual, I thought most of them were charming, funny little people. And then there was one that changed my mind.

While watching my boys enjoy their birthday cake and ice cream, this little boy decided the overall happy and celebratory mood of the day needed to be taken down a notch. He zeroed in on the little sister of the birthday boy, yelling that he was going to “Kill all your baby dolls, I’m going to stomp them dead!” until the sweet happy 3 year old was crying uncontrollably and ran to her mom.

Normally I’d jump right in and make the boys stop, but his mom was standing right there and I wanted to give her the opportunity to do her job as a mother. I fully expected any responsible parent to step in and crush this attack immediately. She did nothing, so after a pause, I got in his face.

“You need to go say sorry." I said, looming over him.
“What?” seeming a bit shocked he was being called on this.
“Did you want to make her cry, because she’s over with her mom now in tears. You made her very upset. You need to go say sorry.”
“No, I was just kidding”
“Those weren’t kidding words. And if you are teasing, you need to stop if someone gets very upset. You were being very mean, and now she’s so unhappy she can’t even tell her mommy why.”
He never did go say sorry, and his mother magically disappeared into the crowd of parents.

Later I was talking to the little girl’s dad. Turns out this little boy enjoys terrorizing his daughter on a regular basis. They are close friends of the family and this happens almost every time they get together. Made me wonder why they still get together, but that’s my filter on things. No matter how much I liked the parents, I would not invite this kind of behavior into my home. And maybe that makes me overprotective, but isn't standing up for your child part of the whole mommy gig? And isn't halting the attack part of the deal too? I mean, I was shocked not only that this little demon boy was allowed to go after a younger child, scratch that, ANY child, with such viciousness and obvious enjoyment in her misery, but also that his mom seemed to think it was fine. What's next, torturing puppies?

If this is how he gets his kicks at age 5, I’d be terrified to meet him at age 35.


Molly said...

There's a line drawn between "I'll step back and let them try to work this out themselves" and "I am going to grab your wrist, yank you into another room, and shake my finger in your face."
And why WOULD you invite this terrorizing into your child's life over and over again? Sad.

Robin said...

Wow, that's really mean. I can't believe his mother just stood by. Nice parenting...

I too can't understand why these parents would continue to invite this bully into their home. Why not just see the parents for an evening out, why subject their children to repeated terror? That makes me really sad for those little girls.

geekymummy said...

Good for you for stepping in. Poor little girl.

Mrs. F said...

Good for you! Someone had to say something. I am surprised that anyone else found this child's behavior even remotely acceptable. I woulda dragged my kids outta the place and, well, never mind. My kids would not say anything like that. But if they did.....

chihuahua5 said...

glad you stood up for her. perhaps someone should teach her a little self defense since her parents aren't watching out for her.

she should pop this kid in the dinger for good measure.

MammaDawg said...

Good for you - for both the restraint, and for stepping in when the other failed to do so.

Something is obviously wrong - I bet there are other underlying issues they're dealing with.

But still. It's no excuse. Poor girl... I hope that boy's parents step in BEFORE he turns thirty-friggin'-five!

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