Monday, September 22, 2008

Seeking professional help.

Sometimes it gets hard to be a married couple with kids. After working all day, we come home and have kids to raise. We spend so much time together as a family, there is very little time left for us as a couple. An occasional date night would be nice, but it seems impossible. Add to that my recent increase in business travel that conflicts with swim classes (only one child has swim classes at a time, so the other child needs to stay home) and it became clear we needed to seek professional help. No, not marriage counseling, we needed child minding.

Any parent knows, life becomes a little easier when you have back up. Previously we'd relied on our nanny for babysitting, but she's going back to school this semester which takes up some of her time. And then there's that pesky thing called her social life. She wants to hang out with people other than my children from time to time, and I have to respect that.

So we were staring to look for a babysitter to help out with the kids from time to time. I'd posted an ad on craigslist and called back several of the potential sitters. I found one who sounded especially promising and set up an interview in person, so she could meet us face to face and I could see if she was likely to fit in with our family.

She arrived in the mix of our evening mania. Mr. Dog was there only for a few minutes, since he was on the way out to take Little Dog to swim class. I'd only recently arrived home. Big Dog had decided he was cold, and was snuggled under a blanket on the living room floor. In other words, the usual after-work mess. She seemed to take it in stride.

After I'd asked my questions, talked to her about schedules and expectations, it was her turn. She asked if there was anything special I needed to know about either boy. I thought about it for a minute. "Well, they're pretty normal little boys. Full of energy, lots of fun. They're also both pretty bright and verbal." then I was stumped. I figured, since he was right there, I'd ask him if there was anything special he'd like to add.

"Is there anything she should know about you if she is going to be our babysitter?" I asked.
Big dog pulled the blanket down from over his head, looked directly at the interviewee and says, "I want to eat my testicles."
Wow. The first thing he decides to say to the stranger sitting in our living room is that his testes are on his list of things to devour. My mouth fell open. I had no idea where this came from, and now she probably thinks we are a big family of freaks. I turn to gauge her reaction and she's smiling. Highly amused.

"That would probably be pretty painful. You might want to reconsider," she says, completely unflustered. And I hired her on the spot.

For the record I later learned that the testicle chat started after he heard his dad comment on our Great Dane's upcoming neuter. Nothing sinister, just liked the word.


Anonymous said...

OMG. Can you send her over to California?

I need to find another babysitter. Mine is in college now, doing the same thing and wanting to hang out with kids her own age - lol.

How funny - we're both talking about quality time in a marriage... our in mine - the lack OF. Date night would definitely help out in that arena. :)

Kirsten said...

Wow. A babysitter who can think on her feet! Can we clone her?

Robin said...

I just spit coffee out my nose.

Shoshanah said...

i was completely cracking up while reading this post, so of course grey comes tearing over to see what is so funny. he made me read it to him. he wanted to know what testicles were. (okay...i thought that's what we called them.) i asked him what the things by his penis were. he said "lumps". well, okay then. he wanted to eat his lumps. grey found this hysterical, and then wanted to see a pic. of the little boy who wanted to eat his lumps. and with that, he was satisfied, climbed off my lap, and went back to legos.

Z said...

Hilarious. And great answer on her part! :)

Dakotapam said...

Good babysitters are hard to find. The good news is you can grow one, it just takes 12 or so years!

Mrs. F said...

Wow! I am laughing so hard, I am teary eyed. Your kids are freaking hilarious!

Nauntie Lush said...

I would have hired her and then humped her for thinking so quickly.

But that probably would have ended in a horrible sexual harassment lawsuit and one of those nasty cake wreck cakes.

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