Please not again, I'm not strong enough

Lately our house has had more than a few doggy accidents. Not great. Really smelly and gross, but we deal. But given the frequency and the fact that both dogs are really house-trained, I decided it may merit a trip to the vet. Doggies peeing in the house can be a symptom of many things.

So I bravely took my pup into see the vet. The did a urine catch (which I must say impresses me, how do you manage to slip a little tray under a squatting do in time to get some of that pee?) and then we got to see the vet.

Let me remind you that I lost my puppy-baby Mao last year. I am still raw from the experience. And as I stood in the waiting room, someone came out of the consultation room after having their dog put to sleep. It was a very old dog, very sick dog, but the pure pain and grief flowing from that dog daddy brought me back to last year. I immediately burst into tears of my own.

So when we were in the exam room, and the vet mentioned that Nikita's urine looked diluted, I lost it. This was one of the first symptoms of Mao's kidney failure. I can't help but worry that I'm going to lose this girl next. After talking with the vet a bit more, she said there was also blood in the urine, which usually signifies an infection, but I can't shake the worry. They did lab work which will be back in the morning. I'll find out if she has Cushing's Disease, or if there is even more serious kidney failure, or if she simply has an infection. I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep on going until I know. And it really needs to be an infection. Please don't make me face the loss of another furry baby. Please.