Friday, February 19, 2010

Blogging my way into a corner

The great thing about writing this blog is that I have an outlet. Not only am I preserving precious memories, because god knows I won't remember them otherwise (but I'll still be able to accurately quote just about any episode of Friends- go figure), but I'm also putting words to my feelings. It's oddly refreshing.
Unfortunately, one of the problems that comes with writing a blog is that people start to read it. People like your family, your friends and your coworkers. And if you're like me, you start worrying about sharing the down stuff. You worry that if you use this new coping mechanism of writing it out, if you feel like the comments of strangers telling you that you aren't crazy might lift you back up, you worry that you might get found out. So you edit yourself. You don't blog about being pissed off about this or that at home, you don't decry your frustrating situation at work and you don't, ever, just let it all out there. Even if that is kind of why you started this thing in the first place.
I'm sure some people do, but I don't think it is worth the potential fall out. So I bottle it up and write up another story about the kids, which is still sincere, and still worthwhile, but maybe not what I really want to be writing about. Sometimes.
It's not just me, is it? What aren't you writing about?

12 comments:

Princess Stupidhead said...

oh yeah. I have felt this way many times. I used to panic at the thought that someone I really know would find my blog. Then I started a new blog and let others know about it and found myself, like you, editing it.

But I don't know, something happened during the process. I kind of liked the challenge of editing while still letting some of the stuff slip in. I started caring a little less that others might see me "naked."

I still don't get very emo on my blog, but I think that's ok too.

followthatdog said...

It's not so much that I want to get emo, it's more that I want to bitch about how stupid, annoying, frustrating etc a situation or person is and then I think, man, that's not a good idea. They might actually read this. Sigh.

Don O. said...

That's the difference between a blog and a diary. A diary is something you do for you. A blog is a public thing. You can always start a separate diary, at home, on your personal computer, password protected. There you can let it all hang out.

followthatdog said...

Yeah, but there is something pretty awesome about venting to a stranger and having them say they've felt exactly the same way. Makes me feel less crazy...well, not really, but it is nice.

Juli Ryan said...

Uh, me too! On my blog, I am not anonymous. I keep getting into trouble, when my family and friends recognize themselves in my posts. Their feelings get hurt, and I feel like a wiener. I wish that I could say that this is a new situation for me. But before blogging, I used to have the same problem with my journal and poems that I published. So, basically, I'm a wiener.

Lisa said...

Wow, how did the story of my blog end up on your blog? My primary audience was family and close friends, with a few "blog friends". Then Gabe died and my job included my blog address when they sent an email out to notify the entire district. Hey Blog, meet every single one of my co-workers! Man, if I thought I had to be careful of what I wrote before, now I had to be extra super duper careful. It's frustrating, because right now [more than ever] I do have a lot of heavy emotional crap I'd like to unload, but it just feels weird to do it in front of everybody.

However, this may be what you're looking for.
Her Bad Mother's Basement was started by Her Bad Mother as a place for anyone to vent "the stuff you can't say on your own front porch". You want some feedback on your life, you're gonna get it.

followthatdog said...

Lisa,
I just went to check that out and WOW, my problems are nothing by comparison. I swear, I'm bitching because I can't complain about person XYZ or whine about work situation ABC. I need to get the hell over it.
And I hope I never have a problem that would merit a post over there.

Lisa said...

It was just a thought. An interesting way to vent anonymously without having to create another blog that you hope no one finds. Some of the stories on page one over there right now are pretty heavy, but people write in about everything you can imagine. Might be interesting just to see what kind of response you get. You never know.

geekymummy said...

I've noticed that on the rare occasion I write and honest, angry, miserable, frustrated post I get lots of great feedback. But I do it rarely, for exactly the same reasons you state.

This is another venting option for anonymous posting. Haven't posted their yet, but have thought about it.
http://parentconfidential.wordpress.com/2010/02/18/last-year-this-year-every-year/

followthatdog said...

Thanks for the good ideas on where to vent my spleen without my friends/family/co-workers knowing I'm doing it. I had no idea there were such resources available. And to think, I almost didn't post this! You guys rock!

misha said...

You need another secret blog on which to totally vent and be honest

Green said...

This is why I never told wanted to tell anyone I knew about my blog. This is why I was devastated when my brother found out about my blog and told our parents.

This is why guest blogging on someone else's blog is sometimes necessary.

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