Dear Crackhead

Ok, that might be inaccurate. I don't know that you're a crackhead. You could be a meth monkey, a junkie or a plain old thieving douchebag. It really doesn't matter much to me what your problem is, the fact of the matter is that you suck.
Obviously in your world your habit is more important than the looming home repairs we're facing. Clearly you needed those tools in our garage more than we do. I mean, Christ, our house is surrounded by a fucking trench! It's pretty evident they were getting heavy use, but sure you need a fix and you have a pair of pretty strong bolt cutters so by all means you should break in and take what you want.
Better yet, you leave the evidence of more break ins in our yard! If the two cut padlocks you left in our construction zone are the total of your day's work I can only assume there are two more home with missing property. Asshole.
Well, we'll regroup and buy new tools, though we'll keep them in the house this time. We'll finish this project despite your crime. But I will also keep an eye out and hope like hell the police find you. And I think they will. I just have a good feeling about this.