Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Oh boy.

Something is going on. I'm not sure what, but something is up. Big Dog is having problems at school. He's not listening, he's pushing, he's generally being a bully. Have I mentioned that next to him turning into a completely anti-social outcast, this is my biggest fear? I don't want him to be a problem child. I don't want him to be the one the other kids are afraid of, and yet, here we are, hearing from his teachers that he was making other kids cry.

I'm not really sure what to do from here. I have talked to him again, and we'll see if it makes a difference. I've told him that I don't want him to lose his friends or be the kid the other boys won't play with. He seems to get it, but to be honest, we've had this talk before.

So here I am nearly in tears over the latest developments. Really he isn't the one I expected to have this problem. He's a really sweet and loving kid. His biggest problems usually arise when he hasn't had enough snuggles. Sure, he has a bit of the big brother "obey me" syndrome with his little brother, but that's pretty normal from what I hear.

Anyhow, I'm wiped out. I'm not sure what to do, how to get him to understand it isn't ok to make people cry. I'm exhausted and stressed and ultimately feel like I'm letting this kid down. I try really hard to be a great mom, but here we are dealing with the bully issue. I'm stumped, no idea what my next move is. I don't want to screw this kid up, because in all honesty, he kind of rocks. Well, at least when he's not pushing people around at school.


Unknown said...

You are an awesome mom and he does know how to be a good friend. We just went through this with L at school too. It really will get better.

chihuahua5 said...

sweetie, maybe he's acting out with it being a new school and a new experience. you are a FAB mom.

mamikaze said...

Totally normal, totally healthy. Many preschoolers do this at this time of year because of the anticipated change coming called Kindergarten. It doesn't make it much easier to deal with. You could try some role play with his action figures.Best of luck and I will by you a beer ;)

Green said...

Is there a bigger neighborhood boy who he looks up to? If so, you could ask that boy to give yours a gentle talk.

If he's on the sensitive side, he probably picks up on stress in the house. How's your construction going?

Keep on him with the "How would you feel if ..." and "None of your friends are going to want to play with you if you're mean to them ..." and all that.

geekymummy said...

I think most kids experiment with power like this, its totally normal to try and control their environment. Especially if changes are coming that are beyond their control. I think most kids go through phases of being the bully and of being the bullied, too. The important thing is that you are giving him the right feedback, and helping understand how his actions affect others. Think of it as a teaching opportunity! He's be fine, he is such a sweet and lovely boy.

Mrs. F said...

I am going to go ahead and agree with everyone else.

Rissa has been a little reluctant to learn her sight words and her teacher finally told her that when she goes to her new school she is going to need to know all of the words. Guess who learned her remaining 10 words overnight? I believe it was a power struggle of sorts.

I think it helped her to know that it was not acceptable in the new school to act like that. The teacher was very non-threatening about it, as I am pretty sure she was at her wits end.

You are a great mom and I know that you will make it through this bump in the road.

If all else fails, try bribery. Heh.

Laura Marchant said...

Oh I am so sorry...that is tough. It was one of the hardest things I had to deal with as a teacher because you just want to help them figure it all out.

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